We write this regarding an impending doom that has been greatly overlooked. A coup of global proportions; an utter fall of man. This doomsday is on the very brink of occurring, and is happening before our very eyes. The party responsible? The Animal Kingdom Army. [AKA.]

For centuries, animals have been regarded as inferior; and they have not taken it well. For as many years as they have existed, they have grown increasingly bitter and hostile toward humans. We, the oppressors, are their unaware sleeping prey. From their carnivorous counterparts the dinosaurs to the modern house cat, the animals have been slowly infiltrating our innermost functions, and preparing means for our destruction.

Evidence shows that this overthrow has been planned out and slowly orchestrated since the beginning of man- following the fall of the dinosaurs. The plot, however, did not become a noticeable threat until the mid eighteenth century. During the early to mid 1700's the vampire was born. It has now been scientifically proven that vampires were indeed very real and most evidence lines up directly with the documented behavior of vampires. What you don't know, however, is that the vampire craze during the time of Count Dracula was in fact a discrete operation executed by AKA intelligence. You see, a vampires increased sensitivity to light (hence, coming out only at night), touch (thus the fine clothing), the increased hormones (exhibited by their romantic/erotic behavior), the mood swings and apparent mania -- these are all symptoms of rabies. The time during which these men were smitten with this horrible disease happens to coincide with a rat epidemic. Rats, of course, are known carriers of rabies.

The AKA appears to be lead by the cows and horses of America, and Europe - although, due to communication barriers, such information cannot be confirmed by the AKA. Small rodents seem to play key rolls in AKA intelligence as do insects. The most impacting threat, however, is not the animals directly but rather the growing number of human funded organizations devised and controlled by the AKA. These groups use the law and propaganda to suppress our self defense. (See the Known Issues section for more details on these organizations.)

To fight back in the name of mankind we have formed a counter-organization:

AKARG was not formed as an animal violence group. We do not endorse cow tipping. AKARG is an organization designed to make known the wiles of the AKA. Human unawareness is integral to the success of the AKA'S plan. The more aware mankind is of the defiance of the animals, our fellow earth inhabitants; the more difficult it will be for the AKA to take us by surprise and destroy us.